Summer 2012

It's been almost two years since I've written on this blog, but there's some stuff I want to write down and share with you all. God has been doing so much in my life lately and I have been doing a poor job of telling people, not because I'm afraid of their reactions but more because I am lazy and don't do a good job of organizing my time. I just got back from an awesome mission trip to Toronto and learned a lot about sharing our stories and glorifying God through our words and conversations. I would love to sit down with everyone who is close to me and just have a good solid conversation about what is going on in your life and tell you about what is going on in mine, but life is busy and life is hard so maybe we can't sit down and have a conversation but I still want to hear from you and I still want to know what's going on in your life.

Well first of all, this is my last semester of college and I cannot even believe that it has gone by this fast!  The years have flown by and I've spent a lot of time this semester just reflecting on all that I have gone through and how I have become such a different person than the girl that walked onto campus four years ago. God has molded and shaped me into someone that I am amazed by every day. I want to bring you up to speed but I don't want to overwhelm you with information. The turning point really came last year while applying for a summer internship.

For my program we are required to do an internship the summer before our senior year and it's this big scary thing that intimidates everyone because if you don't find one you won't graduate on time. That being said I was selected as one of the top three from my Computer Aided Design (CAD) class to send my portfolio from the class to Chico's headquarter's as a possibility for an internship, a paid one too might I add. I was so excited and overjoyed that my professors liked my work and thought I would do well and I had a ton of pride about it and thought I knew for sure that I would get it. Well, you can guess that I ended up not getting the internship, one of my friends that I studied in Paris with got it instead. I was excited for her but also really scared because now I had to start looking for internships and I had no idea how to do that and really didn't even know what I wanted to do. I spent a lot of time looking up internships on every website under the sun, all I really knew was that I didn't particularly want to go to New York and the idea of going somewhere super unfamiliar intimidated me beyond belief. So I was looking in places that I either had family or friends. Found an ad on Craigslist for a full time technical design position in Chantilly Virginia and on a whim sent them an email saying I was looking for an internship and wondering if they had any openings. I didn't even know the name of the company! Exchanged a few emails over a very long period of time but ended up having a phone interview with the vice president of production and sourcing.

In our emails I was told that the position would be unpaid, which didn't surprise me as most internships are only for school credit. During our phone interview I was told that I would actually be paid minimum wage. After some more time with the deadline fast approaching and hope for any other internship pretty much dead I finally found out that they would love to have me and couldn't wait for me to get there. Now I just needed to find housing in Northern Virginia that wouldn't break the bank. This whole time I was really praying hard and I had gone on a mission trip to Atlanta and learned a lot about depending on God and finding strength and peace in Him no matter what the circumstances so I knew that God had a plan and I knew that the pieces would fall together if I trusted him, so I did.

I searched all over for places, since I grew up in the area I debated living with someone but didn't feel like that would be right, I wanted a little more independence than that. I went back to Craigslist, it's not as scary and sketchy as some people might think, and found an ad for a lady that would let someone live in her house for free if they would take care of her dog. I love dogs. I was completely sold on the idea and we exchanged quite a few emails and then she suddenly dropped the bomb that my schedule wouldn't fit well because she needed someone there for a little longer period of time so I was back to square one, which meant back to Craigslist. I found an ad for a house that was right by my middle school that some grad students from Mason were living in. I emailed the girl and told her I was interested and she sent me this detailed questionnaire that I had to fill out along with some references. It was intimidating but I knew that if she was like that they were probably good people that didn't want a sketchy roommate.

After making it through the hoops and talking with some of the other roommates they said they would like to have me as a roommate. After sending one of my friends to drive by the house and make sure it was real and not creepy I sent off my rent deposit. I kid you not, the very next day I get an email from the lady with the dog that the other girl she had found wasn't going to work out and she wanted to know if I was still interested. I so wanted to email the new place and tell them to tear up my check, but it didn't feel right. I had a peace about living with those girls that I definitely did not understand, but I knew somehow it would work out.

I finished my semester, finished my fashion show which was also a really cool experience, packed up my stuff and me and my Mom drove down to Virginia to see what the summer would have in store for me. When I first got to the house I met one of my roommates and she immediately gave me a hug and helped me unpack stuff, you have no idea how wonderful that was, to know that I not only had a cool roommate but I possibly had a new friend. After moving in we decided to find the office where I would be working so I plugged in the address and we went hunting. The GPS said it couldn't find the exact address, but it does that a lot so we picked one close by and figured it was a new building that my GPS didn't know yet. We drove around for a really long time not finding anything and my Mom was worried that I had been fooled and this company didn't even exist or anything. Turns out I had just written down the address wrong, oops. So we finally found the building which was not at all what you would picture for a fashion company it was just in a normal office building with a college above it, barely taking up a quarter of the first level. But we found it and it did exist so my Mom was able to head home happy.

One of the big reasons I was so excited to be back in the area I had grown up was that I was able to go back to my church and see all my friends that I had left. It was such a blessing to have something familiar around when everything else was so new and different. It had obviously changed, which was a surprise but should have been expected, and I struggled with finding where I fit in now that I wasn't in youth group but didn't really feel like I fit with the other groups. I ended up finding a college bible study to be a part of, and also joined a little bible study that my roommate was a part of which was super cool. Gosh there's so much to tell but I'll try to stay on point.

So I started my internship, went in the first day with dress pants, a blazer, and heels and quickly found out that they are a lot more casual than that. The company, who I won't mention just for their privacy and mine but if you ask me I'll tell you, was quite small and probably had a total staff of 30 people, which is insane for an apparel company especially for all that they do. But my boss walked me around and introduced me to everyone right away and kind of laid out the expectations and what the internship was going to be like. She was so wonderful and really wanted me to learn a lot, she didn't want me to just be some cheap labor, she wanted me to learn and grow and understand which I loved!  The whole summer was marvelous, I got to do some really exciting things and I worked super hard to do my best and be the best which everyone seemed to pick up on by giving me more and more stuff to do. I quickly became a part of the team and a vital asset to my boss, especially when she found out she was pregnant! The whole atmosphere of the company really fit me well and I loved every minute of it. When I got my first paycheck I found out that instead of getting paid minimum wage I was actually getting paid about $10 an hour, which was a huge blessing in my life and definitely a God thing.

The summer went by fast and I became really close with my roommates and colleagues and some of the friends that were back in town, but now I had to leave it all to go back to Michigan. The last week was so sad, and it was so hard to leave such a wonderful company and such wonderful people, not knowing if I would get to come back and see or work with them again. My grandma took the train down so she could ride back with me which was such a blessing to have someone else along for the ride.

The summer taught me so much more than I ever expected to learn from and internship. I really opened up and learned how to be a hard worker, how to balance fun things, how to reach out to people, and how to be satisfied in being alone. I know this is a long post but I'm glad you took the time to read it, I'll try to be better about posting things because there is so much I want to share.





When there's nothing left, who are we?
Black Box- This Beautiful Republic

The beauty of beauty

My Aunt and Uncle were up this weekend and they are so great, just always admiring the beauty in the world no matter where it is. They're originally from Michigan but they've lived in Florida for a few years now, so going from palm trees to oak and pine trees was very different. Even seeing squirrels was exciting for them. It just really made me realize how little I truly value my surroundings. I've become numb to their effects and where I used to squeal with delight at the sight of a deer now I just pass them by as simple scenery.

Last summer I worked at Camp Barakel, which is set back in the woods and I enjoyed the area and all of the animals. I'm in a similar setting here at home, but I've lost the appreciation, it doesn't feel like it did there. It really is a place where God has blessed, but there's no reason why I can't admire God's creation everywhere.

When I think of nature in the Bible I automatically jump to Psalms 19.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
⁵ It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.

While my aunt and uncle were here we walked down the beach and then climbed back up the hill to watch the sunset. On our walk back up the sun had already changed to orange and its light was showing up brilliantly on the trees in the coolest patterns. It was amazing, nothing like it, and then getting all the way up to see the sun set was just as brilliant. But I still felt like it was just typical, the sun has set thousands of times before and it's going to keep doing so. The hard part for me is appreciating it and to come to the realization that the sun never sets in quite the same manner. I need to come to the state of mind where I view everything as the work of God's hands, as his masterpiece. Because God has placed them in a perfect, and brilliant manner!

I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything, but I'm gonna try and get back on track. maybe...

Freedom

It's been awhile since I've posted anything so here's just some lyrics that have really been speaking to me lately. Perhaps when I get time I'll actually write something :)

Freedom by Run Kid Run

Oh my chains, I can't disengage
I don't believe that I want to
One hand sings Your praise
The other brings me shame
I have selfishness to blame

And I'm singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for change, change, change, change

Looking down I lay
I keep holding my chains
No longer bound but here I stay
I scream, Father please, I need rescuing
I need You and You alone

And I'm singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for

Still You patiently await
Yet I won't just let go
I see You and You alone
Say come, follow me
Despair has come so You can't see, release

So I'm singing for freedom
So I'm singing for freedom

The time has come, separation lost the war to love
Take my hand, grace is found, yeah where Your words begin
You're alive, You're alive, in the waking of new life
Take my hand, in the end there's only love, there's only love

There's only singing for freedom
I know I'm not the only one praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I'm ready for, I'm ready for
Father please, I need rescuing
I need You and You alone

Faithfully

This last weekend I went to a women's retreat led by Leslie Ludy, author of many many books but her most popular one seems to be "When God Writes Your Love Story." I read it awhile ago and it completely changed my view on dating, and even how I interact with the opposite sex. It's all about falling in love with our original bridegroom, Jesus Christ, and pursuing Him before we try to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Many of us have probably read or heard about Proverbs 31 that describes the wife of noble character. Theres one description that Leslie frequently mentioned that got me thinking. "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life" ALL the days of her life, not after she meets him, or after they're married but ALL the days.

Leslie brought up this passage many times in her books and speaking and in our world today it sure seems like a very odd principle. In a world where people hook up with random people and care little about each others feelings, someone who cherishes, honors, and does her husband good all the days of her life would look like a crazy fool. But God calls us to be set apart from the world "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" Romans 12:2. Perhaps a renewing of our minds to see the way that God intended love and marriage to be is what we as Christians need.

I know God has a plan for me and a plan for my husband, and I intend to do him good and not harm all the days of my life.

Faithfully by Eric and Leslie Ludy-

Tonight I saw a shooting star
Made me wonder where you are
For years I have been dreaming of you
And I wonder if you're thinking of me too
In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance
They say that i'm a fool to wait for something more
How can I really love someone i've never seen before
But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived
And I know that real love is all about learning how to give
So I pray that god will bring you to me
And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully

Tonight I saw two lovers kiss
Reminded me of my own loneliness
They say that i'm a fool to keep on praying for you
How can I give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true
But I will keep believing that god still has a plan
And though I can't see you now,
I know that he can
And someday I will give you all of me
Until I find you, i'll be waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully

Sunday March 14th 2010

It was a long trip. We made it home around 5:00pm and unloaded the van into Lindsay and Alicia's house, it basically looked like REI threw up in their living room and smelled like it too. It was crazy to see all the stuff that we had somehow fit into that small little van.

We attempted to sort out all the clothes and stuff and get them to the right person and after lots and lots of hugs and "see you later's" we headed back to our own homes. Firs thing I did when I got back was take a shower, it made me think about what a luxury it was, I doubt that the homeless ever get a good hot shower and I just really valued that and thanked God for it.

I was the first one from my room to get back so I unpacked my stuff and cleaned my room and just reflected on the week and stuff. When I did get to talk to people it was kind of disappointing because I was so enthusiastic about it and super excited but no one else seemed to have the same reaction. It seemed like I had just told them that I played with lint the entire week, but I tried to keep my spirit high.

It was hard to get back to the real world and work on homework and other things when all I could think about was the past week.

Saturday March 13th 2010

Our second day of backpacking and our last day in Colorado.

We woke up pretty much at the crack of dawn, 6:30, and started making breakfast so we could get headed out on the trails. Breakfast was oatmeal and I mixed some trail mix in with it, mmmm. We tore down our camp and set to work packing up the van, meaning we had to disassemble all the stuff in our backpacks so they were flat again and we had to find somewhere to put all our clothes and the tents and stuff. This was a little more difficult than when we first did it but somehow, by the grace of God, we managed to get it all shoved in there.

We then set off on our second day of hiking. We didn't hike nearly as much as we did the day before, only about a half mile to Bear Lake and then we took a ton of pictures and goofed around. We were all so comfortable and goofy around each other and so we got a lot of cool pictures. But then we had to head down the mountain and leave the beautiful Estes Park. It was sad to head out and leave the mountains and everything, but it was an adventure and a trip I will never forget.

When we got back down the mountain we went to a souvenir shop and then went to Kelly's to change into our van clothes. That same herd of elk apparently decided to follow us because there were a ton of them just chilling out in the middle of the road outside her apartment, with people yelling at them trying to get them to move. We said our goodbyes and headed down the mountain and began our trek back to Michigan.

We were all really hungry and it was decided that we should go to Golden Corral since it was a buffet and would have anything anybody wanted. Our group was so tired and hungry that when we got food we just went nutso, I can only imagine what the other people thought of us. A massive group of girls that looked bad and smelled bad and were eating food like we hadn't seen it in forever, but it was pretty much the first time we'd had some good food all week.

After dinner we got back in the car to continue on our trip back home. The ride home was a lot different than the ride there because now we knew each other and we were able to have real conversations about we had learned and what we enjoyed while we were out there.

Besides hiking in the morning it was a pretty uneventful day full of driving. But it was still a really good day

Friday March 12th 2010

Sorry it's taken me awhile to finish up the last few days of our trip, I blame the end of the semester being so busy.

Exact words from my journal describing today "Today was really awesome, a cherry on the top of one of the best weeks ever. But a well earned, hard fought over cherry."

So we're all packed but there's one last thing we have to do, gather sticks. Yep that's right we needed to gather kindling for our fire so we went around campus and picked up sticks and stuff that were on the ground. I can only imagine what the people of CCU were thinking.

With that done we hopped in the van with our backpacks sitting on our laps and left to head to Estes Park, wooo! On Thursday they had told us where we were going and they also told us that we wouldn't truly be backpacking because we were just hiking in the mountains and then going back to a campsite and then hiking again the next day. Our group was apparently too big and it was too early in the season to set up camp in the mountains, but it all worked out.

Our Van struggled to get up the mountains but we made it up and learned that we would have a guide for our trip. God worked a miracle and Alicia and Lindsay were able to find Kelly who was a CMU graduate and had actually been involved with His House but moved out to Denver and leads children's groups and other things out there. She lived right by Estes Park so we were able to use her apartment to change and stuff before heading out on our adventure.

We finally made it to the trail head of where we would be hiking and put on our hats and gloves and stuff and headed up the mountain. Kelly said we would be going to about 10,000 feet and that it would be a 3 mile hike round trip. For me the hardest part was the first tenth of a mile, getting adjusted to the altitude and trying to get a good body temperature that wasn't too hot or cold was difficult, but after that it was pretty smooth sailing.

It was so beautiful and breathtaking on top of the mountain and we got to hike across a frozen river and just see God's beauty displayed all around us. We may or may not have gotten off of the trail we were supposed to be on and ended up somewhere where we didn't really know where we were, but we were able to turn around and just head back down the mountain.

We packed a ton of granola bars, energy bars, trail mix, and sandwiches to eat while we were up there and ate those along the trail and for lunch, we even stopped at one point and made hot chocolate with some little gas heater things.

The hiking part was pretty hard work but to get to the top and see all of the mountains and landscape was very awesome! It's hard to describe everything that we saw and did because it's really different than anything and you should just go experience it for yourself.

We survived the mountain and headed to our campsite to get all set up before it got dark. On our way we saw a huge herd of elk, probably around 200 of them, it was super cool to see them. It's not everyday you run into an elk, much less 200 of them!!!!!

We unpacked our van and got to work making our tents, which I thought would be difficult but we managed to set up 4 tents in no time at all, girl power! For dinner we made rice sides, yumm, we had quite an assembly line going, filling the cups, putting them on the burners, pouring the water into the rice bag, and closing the rice bag and checking it for when it's done.

After dinner Kelly took us to a really big field, the one where we saw the huge herd of elk actually, and we were able to just look at all the stars. She was pointing out different constellations and stars and other things and then we split up and just laid there, it was really really awesome. There were so many stars, Kelly said we could probably see the entire milky way! To see God's majesty and beauty displayed in the sky in such a miraculous way was just spectacular. We sat there for awhile just in awe and then headed back to our campsite.

When we got back Alicia and Lindsay had made us a nice little fire, something we wouldn't have been able to have if we had legit backpacked. It was nice and warm and we sat around and Kelly told us her testimony. It was cool cause we barely knew her but she was sharing her whole life story with us because she knew that God wanted her to and that it would change our lives. It definitely impacted my life.

After her testimony we did some worship. I think that there's something about a fire and camping that makes worship so much more meaningful and cool.

Kelly headed back to her own apartment to get some sleep, apparently sleeping in the cold didn't sound appealing ;) After she left Jannan shared her testimony, which was also very moving and brought a different perspective and insight into her life. The whole night was just super awesome.

Now we had to set to work getting ready to go to sleep, which apparently means we have to do alot so that we don't freeze. We had to change and what I ended up wearing to bed was a pair of underarmor leggings, yoga pants, sweatpants, and windbreakers, and then an underarmor shirt, a long sleve shirt, a fleece, a sweatshirt, and my winter jacket, only slightly less bulk than the kid in The Christmas Story. We also heated up water and put that in our water bottle and stuck in our sleeping bag, along with 6 handwarmers. I was afraid that I might get cold but I was pretty toasty all night.

Our first day of backpacking and adventure was really truly freaking awesome.

Thursday March 11th 2010

Our last day at the DRM :(

We got to sleep in today which was really nice! Then we wrote letters and encouraging verses to the guys at the mission. It was cool to find a ton of verses for the guys and write them personal letters telling them how they impacted our life. Earlier in the week one of the guys had told Lindsay that he hadn't received a letter from his family in 7 years!

We got to the city kind of early so Alicia and Lindsay decided to let us explore downtown for a quick little bit. This required parallel parking our 15 passenger van between an SUV and a Fedex truck, and Alicia did it! Then we headed down to the 16th street mall and took a bunch of pictures and stuff and stopped in a sports store so some people could get souvenirs. Then we headed back, a quick but fun trip.

We all assumed we were going back to the DRM but we were soon in a random neighborhood and didn't know what we were doing. Alicia then parallel parks again in an even smaller spot! We got out and learned that we were going to the Champa house, a DRM rehabilitation center for women and their young families. They gave us a tour and showed us all of the different things that they could offer there. They had a daycare area and a school/learning area, and other cool things and then upstairs they housed all the families. Each family got an apartment style room with their own kitchen and bathroom that they could style in a way that was best for them. I believe that there were 8 families living there at the time, which is impressive because the house was not very big at all. None of the families or women seemed to be around so we couldn't talk to them or anything but from the stories it sounds like it's doing really well.

After that we headed to the DRM and were ushered into the chapel again. Nate and Nicole, another staff member who seemed to teleport to all the different DRM centers, chatted with us about our week and what we've been learning and liking and stuff, it was cool to talk to them about it since they live it everyday. They gave all of us a shirt that says "I fought hunger and homelessness at the Denver Rescue Mission" and a book called Under the Overpass written by a guy who decided to be homeless for 6 months and started his adventure at the DRM. It was so exciting to get those things because they could always remind us of our time there.

We went downstairs and laid out all of the cards for the guys so they could grab them before getting Lunch. As they got there and saw a card with their name on it, something that was truly theirs and addressed just for them, their faces all lit up and as they read them they kept thanking us and telling us how much they loved it. Such a simple thing as a letter, but with so much love it had really made a difference in their day and life.

It was amazing to see how much we had changed from the beginning of the week when we were scared to go and sit with these guys but now we fearlessly walked up sat down and struck up conversations with them. And the guys had really taken us under their wing and joked around with us and wanted to share their lives and struggles with us so we could learn. We learned a lot from them in just one week.

After eating and serving lunch Nate and Mike wanted to take us to the 16th street mall, where we'd been that morning, so we went. While we were walking a guy came up to us and asked if we had any change, we directed him towards the DRM but he said he just wanted a cup of coffee so Nate said he could walk with us and he'd buy him a cup of coffee. He walked with us for awhile and started saying things like "Jesus Christ isn't real, he's dead and never came back to life." Mike immediately spoke up and said "I'm sorry you feel that way because he is alive and he lives in me!" and just sharing the gospel with this guy. Here's Mike who at one point in life was probably close to the position that this guy is in and he's now sharing the gospel with him, that's crazy, and proof of God's work in people.

The guy walked with us for awhile but he dropped away when we got closer to the city. Nate stopped us and pointed out that alot of guys have this idea of space, that down by the DRM is acceptable space for them to be but in the main part of the city it is not. And we also discussed what is best to do when someone asks for money. There are a lot of people who will just use that money for drugs or alcohol but at the time you pass them maybe what they really need to see is God's love and by giving them money they might see that. He says that the best thing to do is probably buy them food, get them a burger or a cup of coffee, something that they can't use to buy alcohol or drugs and still shows your love for them, probably even more than just dropping a dollar for them.

Well who would've guessed, that guy came back and so we stopped at a Starbucks and got him a cup of coffee and Nate talked to him a little bit about the DRM and stuff. Nate stayed and talked with him but we needed to head back to serve dinner.

After we had served dinner to everyone our group got together and sang a couple songs for the guys. This was definitely a different expereicne than when we sang for the people in the mission, because it's probably true that a lot of these guys didn't know Jesus. Before they come to dinner they have to go to chapel but in Under the Overpass he says that the chapels often revolved around sin and how they should repent, sermons he said that often just brought him down, but the songs we chose were songs of hope and of getting a second chance and of the love of Jesus. Our group was in no way a choir but we offered a joyful noise and the people loved it. In the back we could see Matt and Mike with huge smiles on their face, Alicia said that they looked like "proud papas."

Our time with them was coming to a close. We cleaned up after the first group and another group of volunteers took over for the rest of the shifts. We didn't want to leave so we delayed, just saying good bye was hard. We decided to pray over the guys, Mike and Matt, it was very cool to share our love and pour our hearts out onto these guys, I doubt there was a dry eye in the group. Matt said how he'd changed so much and that he used to pistol whip guys and stuff but now all it takes is a sad commercial and he'll be crying.

We took a bunch of crazy pictures and then we had to leave. Someone decided we should dance all the way outside so with Matt leading we danced all the way through the cafeteria and up the stairs then took more pictures outside with the Jesus Saves sign in the background and headed across the street to our van. As we were saying our goodbyes we saw Matt leaving and heading back inside, later he told us that he was losing it and had to leave. :( Tearfully we climbed into the van and rode back home with only the stereo breaking the silence.

When we got back we talked about our experiences and what we had learned throughout the week. We also did this thing they called "the hot seat," where someone sat in a chair and then 3 people told them what they liked about them, or what they had learned, or just something encouraging. It was really sweet and cool because we had all really grown together and had shared so much in those first days.

The next day we would be leaving CCU and heading off to go backpacking so after that whole day we still had to pack and get stuff ready to leave the next morning. I don't think we went to sleep until after 2, and even then it was hard to sleep knowing we might not see some of those guys again.

Wednesday March 10th 2010

Today was a day of hard work but good fun.

Our groups split up right away so we dropped the other group off at the Crossing and then headed over to the DRM. When we got to the DRM Nate talked to us about his testimony and how he came to work at the DRM. He grew up in a Christian home and they traveled a lot and one of the palces they moved to was Moscow. While there he said it was frequent to see homeless people losing fingers and toes to the cold and just the pain and suffering of not having a home. He never got into drugs but he was an adrenaline junkie and ended up getting into some kind of bad accident that left him bedridden for 6 months. Through that he read a lot and was able to soul search and dig into God. He skipped a little into between now and then but he's been there for 2 1/2 months so far, and it's clear that he really has a heart for it and loves working with the guys.

Then Matt shared more of his testimony which was really cool. He shared a lot of what we had talked about during lunch that first day but he also shared what it was like to detox off of heroine. He says heroine unfortunately gives you the best feeling in the world and that you just long to always feel that way. He went into the neuroscience of it all and said that while he was detoxing he was always uncomfortable and was too hot and too cold at the same time and he couldn't sleep, and just on and on about how terrible of an ordeal it is. He's detoxed before but has ended up going back to it and so hopefully this time is different for him and we continue to keep him in our prayers.

We finished up all of that and headed downstairs to organize the pantry and prepare lunch. They had just gotten a couple donations so we were in charge of moving boxes of cans into the pantry and re-organizing it to fit all of the new food. Boxes of cans are not very light and it was pretty hard work getting them in there and organizing everything but now they'll be able to see all of the food that they have so they can utilize it. And it was fun to get to bond with the other girls some more while putting like 5 million cans of green beans on the shelves.

We did that all morning and then ate lunch with the PC's and got to know them some more. I ate with Ronald who was a older member that loved to talk. He was from Ohio and liked talking to us about how life has changed in Detroit and a bunch of other things. He really enjoyed us talking to him and just hanging out, I imagine that the guys don't really get to do that a whole lot.

Normally we would help serve lunch but today another group of volunteers had come in and I thought it was really cool because most of them were mentally challenged. Anyone can do anything that they want and seeing these people spreading God's love around when they often don't receive their own fair share of it was really cool!

So instead we set to work organizing bread. They receive a ton of bread from grocery stores or Panera or just donations from people so we had quite the task in front of us. We had to organize this mountain, literally, of bread into sliced, unsliced, rolls, and bagels. We had a "system" of throwing the bread at someone and telling them what it was and continuing that until we got too fast that it was just hitting them, but we didn't stop ;) One time Stef thought the bread was too hard so she hit Amber with it and Amber agreed and hit me with it, it was definitely too hard.

When we finally finished tackling all the bread Matt came up to us and showed us these chocolate Santas that he had found somewhere. The chocolate wasn't done very well on them or something cause they were creepy! He grabbed one of them and took a bit out of his head and quickly decided they were also stale and not worthy of being eaten so he did what anyone would do, grab a knife and stab their face. Funniest thing ever! And so we decided that we all needed to get in on smashing these Santas, but not before Alicia suggested that we have a photoshoot with them. So we each grabbed a Santa or Christmas tree and headed out to the street. First plan of action was to get a picture of them crossing the road; this was carefully accomplished in between red lights but we still almost got run over. Then there were pictures of them creeping in a tree, chilling on a barbed wire fence and creeping behind people.

We grabbed some big rocks and took them to the back alley, the same one that's used as a bathroom and drug dealing area, and got ready to smash them. Matt tried throwing his rock at his Santa but that didn't work very well so he grabbed a board and smashed it to pieces on top of a dumpster. We all proceeded to do the same thing while yelling at the Santas for not getting us the Barbie dream house we wanted or the pony we've been asking for since we were 4. It was a great time and all the pictures and video of the smashing are on Facebook so check 'em out.

Still running on a ton of energy we headed over to the Crossing and car danced and jammed out all the way. The other group had been cleaning the whole time and their energy seemed to be low so hopefully our high levels of craziness cheered them up, we sure had plenty to share.

We set out to finish up work on the semi and were finally able to make some headway and get it done! The change from the beginning of not being able to see half way back to now having a walkway down the middle and complete organization was really awesome and we inventoried everything so they can use more of the stuff that they have.

The other group got to work with the kids in the Reading and Writing club so we tried to find some jobs to do. They didn't really need us so we thought we would go and get some groceries but the traffic was far too heavy and we ended up just going to a mall. When I say mall I could probably say city because this place was intense! The stores were all outside and there were so many of them, and there were also little booths set up on the sidewalks and a fire pit! It was overwhelming but we didn't have time to stop so we just went to the target that was there. Well, come to find out it's a super target and we were still running on crazy amounts of energy so we had a ball there, and somehow managed to accomplish something.

We finished enjoying our craziness and then headed back to the Crossing to eat dinner. When we had first gotten there there was an older lady in a wheelchair who was admiring us from afar and smiling and laughing along with us. Me and another girl went up to her to talk but she said she had a really sore throat and couldn't talk, well I saw her again right before we left and asked her if she had gotten some tea or something for it and she just beamed and seemed so happy that I had remembered her and was checking up on her again. She was so sweet and I gave her a little hug and told her that I hoped she would start feeling better.

When we got back to CCU everyone gathered their clothes and me Mackenzie and Lacey volunteered to be in charge of doing the laundry at the laundromat. I love doing laundry, well I love the smell and sound of laundry so it was fun. We each took our bibles and our journals and just hung out. We talked about our weeks and life and different religions and faith and how some people get more focused on rules than on having a personal relationship with Christ. It was quite fun. Unfortunately it took our laundry forever to dry but they had free drying on Wednesdays so praise God for that!

We got back to CCU and instead of doing our usual devotions Alicia and Lindsay decided we needed a break and a time to just chill so they got ice cream, nachos, and the movie Baby Mama. It was cool to just hang out and bond and not be go go going the whole time.

It was a jam packed day of fun, laughter, craziness and most importantly God.

Tuesday March 9th 2010

The adventure continues!

We got to the DRM and Matt and Nate had a street tour planned for us. We walked around the neighborhood that the DRM is located in and they pointed out different areas. The area across from the DRM where a lot of people hang out was busy again, and Matt said that there was a prostitute over there and that a drug deal just went down. Matt pointed out a store where you could buy "medicinal" marijuana with a credit card and the different places that people would hang out. Nate told us that the city was trying to help out the homeless and that affordable halfway housing was built and being built in the area. He showed us the alley behind the DRM that people used for a bathroom and Matt showed us a dumpster that was there and said that after people bought their drugs from across the road they normally had used them by the time they got to the dumpster. He joked about the crack pigeons who were addicted to crack from all the little droppings that get left around the area. It was a very eye opening experience.

We got back and set to work preparing lunch again. We got to eat with some more people from the DRM but just talked casually, shooting the wind. Then it was time to serve the outside guests, and I was in charge of grabbing the trays that were full of food and giving them to the guests. It was cool to get that interaction with them and not just see them from behind the counter. I could tell that they loved the smiles and that they weren't used to getting that love. Most of them were super thankful for the food and the work that we were doing, definitely a cool experience.

We were told that we would be splitting up into two groups and a couple of us went upstair to use the bathroom. We had to walk through the chapel to get back downstairs and one of the PC's stopped us and asked if we could sing and if we would sing him a song. We asked what he wanted and so with the help of Mackenzie, one of the worship leaders at church, we started singing some songs. Slowly more and more girls from our group joined us and soon we had a full on choir going for these guys. One of the guys named Jason turned on the mics and camera and our voices and pictures were being broadcast throughout the building drawing in more of the guys. It was really cool how the songs that came to mind to sing were about second chances or about getting out of the wilderness or things like that and just hearing our voices and the message of God through our songs really brought a smile to their faces, it was really moving and Jason asked us if we would sing again sometime for the dinner guests, we agreed that that was a really good idea.

We finally split up into two groups and me and my group left the DRM not knowing where the heck we were going. We arrived at this place called the Crossing, apparently a transtional home for families and also for people who are actually in the New Life Program, so it's where the guys from the mission will end up once they get in. We found out that we would be working with the kids that lived there and also helping clean up a semi where they stored all of their supplies. We worked with Joe who really loved and believed in what he was doing. He took us out to the semi and when we looked inside we were overwhelmed with all of the chaos and un-organization, we stood there for a couple minutes trying to decide what to do. We split the semi into front middle and back with 2-3 people assigned to each area and at first we just tried to figure out where everything was and get ready of any trash we could.

We slowly put a dent into it and then Joe came out and got us to help with the reading and writing club, a time for the kids to hangout and get help with their hw. He briefed us on what we would be doing and how they want to emphasize education so all the games they had were educational, things like Uno and board games were included too because they help with counting and other basics. The kids kept peeking into the windows waiting for the time when they could come in and hangout.

A lot of the money for the program was donated by the Broncos so the room was called the Bronco Room and was decked out in Bronco gear, I thought it was really awesome that the Broncos cared for the kids and the homeless people.

At 4:30 we let the kids stampede in and they grabbed a snack and we sat down and talked a little with them. They were kinda shy and hesitant about talking with us but that changed pretty fast. For the first 30 minutes they had to read or do homework so the two kids I was hanging around grabbed a book of biblical comics and cartoons. It was really funny and I'm sure that it helped them learn about the bible and get them interested in Jesus.

The kids slowly started opening up to us and we were laughing and joking around by the time those 30 minutes were over and then the kids were allowed to go on the computer or play educational games. I ended up playing Candyland with 2 of the kids and then coloring with 2 teenagers. I think they really liked having new people to hang out with and I really liked getting to hang out with them, because who knows where they would be without this program.

We then got to eat dinner there, which was a whole different experience. Since our group was kinda big and the cafeteria wasn't very large we had to wait until most of the residents were done eating and so we didn't get to eat with really any of the people that lived there. They only serve the people that live there so they make healthier better quality food and had a ton of desserts that you could choose from. It's more of a buffet style where you have choices as to what you want to eat instead of just getting a tray full of food. It was just a very different atmosphere than the DRM.

We went back to the DRM and picked up the other half of our group and went back to CCU. We got a little break and a bunch of us ended up piling on top of our bed and just talking about our days and comparing stories and bonding, it was really great. Then we went upstairs and did devos, led by Erica. She shared her testimony and also talked about how we need to have the whole shebang when it comes to Christ, like we can have all the ingredients for puppy chow but separately they aren't as good as when they are all mixed together, just like we have to have all the "ingredients" of a relationship with Christ and we have to mix that all together to get an awesome close relationship with Christ.

To emphasize that she gave us all a little sheet of paper and told us to write down whatever was keeping us from that close personal relationship and then we passed them to her and she read them to everyone so we could see what everyone was dealing with. We did all anonymously and she asked if anyone wanted to share what theirs was and elaborate on it, we were all quiet for a while and then someone spoke up and soon everyone had shared what was holding them back. It was a really great bonding experience to share and feel what everyone else was dealing with.

We ended that with a group hug and then proceeded to have a dance party that ended when an RA came and told us to quiet down, oops.

Monday March 8th 2010

Today was filled with lots of discovery, and being pushed a little out of my comfort zone.

We woke up at 7:30 ate breakfast and headed off to the DRM. It was awesome to get to see the city and the mountains and everything around, and of course finally getting to the DRM was interesting. When we got close to the mission we noticed that there was an area outside the mission that had benches and stuff and a lot of homeless people were sitting out there or sleeping, probably hanging around until lunchtime. There wasn't anything special about the mission building itself but on the corner of it is a cross that says Jesus Saves, it was really cool looking, and like a banner of hope for all the people that go there.

We found a parking spot and after a quick prayer we headed inside wondering what we should expect. We were greeted by a friendly guy at the desk who told us we could wait in the chapel for Nate who would show us around and be our guide. Nate got there and he was not who I was really expecting, he looked to be only in his twenties and just looked like any old typical college student, but when he started talking to us you could see the passion and fire he has for Christ and for what the mission is doing.

He told us how the mission is the starting point of what they call the New Life Program and how all of the residents are Program Candidates, or PC's. The PC's enter the program and have to quit whatever they are on cold turkey and then the rehab program is based on work therapy. The PC's get up early and make breakfast and serve it to people who come in from the streets, and then throughout the day they have various chores that they have to do to help keep the mission clean and running.

He then told us about what they do for all of the people that come in from the streets. They serve three meals a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, and while we were there it seemed to average about 200 people for lunch and dinner. At night they house only men and can hold 300 men in bunk beds upstairs. To get a bed the people have to come before dinner and go to chapel, then they are ushered downstairs to eat and from there they go upstairs and get their bed. They also have a clinic that provides medical care to the program candidates and also certain procedures are offered to outside guests. One of the dentists that was there says he pulls so many teeth he's lost count.

After our small tour of the building we were sent downstairs to the kitchen area to prepare and get ready for lunch. They split us up into teams, some preparing food, and others cleaning and organizing. I helped cut open packages of meat, and fries, and opening and stacking cheese slices to get ready for the philly cheese steaks we would be serving, then I sliced fruit and filled pitchers with water and ice. It went by pretty fast because there were so many of us and soon it was time for lunch.

The PC's eat first before outside guests come in so we got to eat with and get to know some of the guys. I sat with Matt who was also our supervisor. When we first met Matt we had no idea that he was in the program he acted like and seemed like he was on staff. He joked around with us about how some guy had pulled a knife on him last week and he just looked at it and said "Aww that's a cute little knife," and just a bunch of other funny stories. While we were eating he told us a little bit about himself. He grew up in a Christian home but got into drugs when he was 16, he said he did everything and started dealing to fund his expensive habit. He also got into crime, stealing cars and other stuff, "I ran the streets" he said and ended up paying the price for it by doing 9 years in prison and at one point he was facing 63 years. But once he found the DRM all that changed, he admits that he's failed and was pulled back into drugs but he's now been at the mission for 21 days and intends on staying there unless the court system decides he has to go somewhere else. He has such a personality and a servants heart it was really cool to see.

We finished eating and cleaned up and got ready for all of the people that would be coming through for lunch. I got assigned to serving and it was me, Lacey, from our group, and Ashanti, a PC, in charge of creating trays of food for the people that were coming. We had a really good assembly line going, and got to have some really good conversations with Ashanti. He was telling us that he's a recovering alcoholic and he would just talk and talk. I got a little too wrapped up in putting cheese slices on bread and didn't hear a lot of his story but I could hear the passion in his voice when he talked about Christ and all that he has learned, and how Christ has changed his life.

It was interesting to see all of the people that were there, not all were the stereotypical homeless person who was dirty and filthy, there were quite a few people in suits and nice clothing that you never would have guessed that they were homeless or unable to afford food. All of them were genuinely thankful for the food that we were giving them and you could tell that they loved the smiles and happy attitude that we brought with us.

Once everyone was fed we were in charge of clearing their trays when they were done and when everyone left we cleaned the tables and swept the cafeteria. Then we were split up again and some people painted the hallways upstairs and in the stairway and my group was in charge of scrubbing the walls in the kitchen getting them ready for painting. Oh man was that a dirty job, these walls were caked with dirt and grease and grime and only elbow power and degreaser had hopes of getting them clean. We slowly worked our way around the kitchen and at one point I had finished a wall and was heading to do another nasty section that was basically black with dirt and Ashanti looked at it and said "If I was you I would let some other girl do that section." Well I'm not one to turn down a challenge so I went at it and slowly but surely the wall turned white. Ashanti came back and said "Wow, who knew that was white under there." Mission accomplished.

Matt decided we were doing such a good job and he found a box full of candy necklaces and bracelets and gave them to all of us, thus becoming our Sugar Daddy.

After finishing up the rest of our chores we headed back to CCU, but not before running into a very interesting person. As we were getting into our van a woman walked up to us and asked if we had any change, we told her no but told her about the DRM, she didn't seem interested and suddenly started asking us math problems. You'd think that a group of college students could answer simple mathematical problems but no, we all fail at Math apparently. And she eventually gave up on us and left. When we got in the van a couple people said that they recognized her from lunch at the DRM.

A hearty dinner was followed by a wonderful rest time and then we all gathered upstairs for devos and discussion of our day, then went back to our separate rooms. I got to talk to Stef for awhile about life and how easy it was to share our faith and feelings with the girls here and the people at the DRM but that when it came to our families it was so difficult, just something that I kept thinking about the week and still, now that I'm home. We also got talking about camps and stuff when Sarah, one of our other roommates came in, they talked about sports camps and stuff that they've done and I asked if they had heard about Camp Barakel, well wouldn't you know Stef had gone there all throughout her childhood, way to work that one God. We thought that was crazy cause no one's ever heard of Barakel and here I am some girl from Virginia who came to Michigan just to go to Barakel and God put us together, he had a plan, and my idea of working at Barakel could no longer be ignored.

Sunday March 7th 2010

In the morning we went grocery shopping, as described earlier, and then we went to Dick's and Old Navy because a few people still needed some things for our trip. To get from Dick's to Old Navy we had to cross a semi-busy road and of course we decided not to use the crosswalk, so we saw a break in traffic and just ran across. We definitely were feeling the altitude from that, which became an ongoing joke of blaming everything that we didn't do very good at on the altitude. We finished our escapade and headed back to CCU (Colorado Christian University) and started making Fettucini Alfredo, mmm very tasty.

Since it was Sunday our leaders planned for us to go to a church, Denver Community Church to be specific. God strikes again and the message of the night is about our own personal wilderness and how to get out of it. It was cool because we could relate it to the wilderness that we would be encountering later in the week as we went backpacking, and we would also find deeper meaning through the people we got to work with throughout the week.

All of us agreed that we really liked the church and the message that was presented and for the rest of the night we hung out and did some devos and Lindsay, one of our leaders, shared her testimony with us which really helped us get to know her and start to open up to each other.

Before we went to bed Lindsay and Alicia, our leaders, decided to tell us a little about what we would be doing at the Denver Rescue Mission (DRM). All that they really told us was that we would be working with recovering drug addicts as well as people who were poor and homeless.

As we started getting ready for bed Stefanie, my bed buddy and the one who sparked my interest in Barakel, noticed my eye mask and her and Lindsay decided that not only was my father in the C.I.A. but my eye mask was a personal computer that I used to contact them and to recharge my batteries so therefore I was a robot.

Knowing about what we were gonna do made me kinda nervous but also super excited to get to work with these people and shower them with God's love. Lots of thinking and praying was done before finally going to sleep.

The beginning of a grand adventure!

Ok so this blog may bounce around and be everywhere but I'll try to edit it and make it so you can understand.

So not many of you that read this know, but over spring break I went to Denver, Colorado on a mission trip with my church here. It was the best week ever and I really want to share my experiences with y'all, and also reflect on them myself.

So first of all I signed up for this trip on a whim, I just felt like God really wanted me to go there, but more I felt like I really wanted to go see mountains and be around nature and everything like that. Well not only did God give me that but he gave me sooo much more than I ever would have thought.

The trip was an all girls trip, 14 girls, and we met a couple times before the trip but really I didn't know anyone. It's amazing how God can take 14 girls with very different backgrounds and personalities and turn us into a super close group of friends. You could say that we started our trip on Friday because we met at our leaders house to pack the van and get things done so we could just leave in the morning, at 5 am. We were given a strict packing list because everything we brought, all of our backpacking gear, clothes, and everything else, had to fit in a 15 passenger van, remember that there's 14 of us. Yeah, well it was only by the grace of God that all of our stuff fit into this van. Foam sleeping pads were shoved under the seats along with everyone's backpacks, clothes were rolled and stuffed into ziploc bags which were then shoved into any crevice that we could find, boots were stuffed between the backdoor and the backseat, and we sat on top of the sleeping bags, and everything else miraculously found a spot somewhere in the van. And we rode in this van for 25 hours to get to Denver.

I'm pretty used to long car rides, we always drove from Virginia to Michigan and that's about 13 hours, and it took us 18 hours when we moved here, but never have I done anything more than that and definitely never in a squished 15 passenger van. But this van ride was awesome! Being squished and forced into this close space allowed all of us bond and get to know each other a little. I struck up a conversation with one of the girls and it was really cool how God definitely but her there for me. We talked about how we were excited for whatever we were gonna do in Denver and somehow we ended up talking about camps and things like that. She works at this camp called Peak for children during the summer and a softball camp and some other things too, our conversation sparked my interest for possibly working at Camp Barakel, a camp I always went to as a kid, but more on that later.

Our leaders decided that they didn't want to tell us anything about our plans for the week so that we wouldn't have expectations that would then be broken and so that we would learn patience and to trust that they and God had a plan. So after lunch we looked around and realized that we were in the country and headed to who knows where and all we could do was trust that our leaders had a plan. Well they ended up taking us to this park, after getting lost a couple times, and told us to grab a pen and put our hiking boots on. Turns out they had planned this mini escapade to introduce us to hiking in snow and then we got to sing a couple worship songs. They then gave us a card and told us to find a quiet place and write a letter to ourselves getting out all of our fears for the week and writing down what we wanted to get out of the week. It was definitely an awesome way to start our week and get in the right mindset.

When we stopped for dinner at Wendy's it came up that my Dad worked for the government but that I didn't really know what he did, and it was decided that he must be in the C.I.A and that he was riding under our van protecting us. His name became Dale Tackman because if we gave him a lie detector test he would put a tack in his shoe to control his heart rate and therefore change the results. In a car full of 14 tired girls stories get a little crazy, and this one just kept expanding, it was quite hilarious.

Later on around 10 or something we stopped at a gas station and took our potty breaks. We ended up striking conversation with the guy who was working at the counter. He obviously was surprised that a van full of girls was getting gas at 10 at night and so we told him that we were on a spring break trip with our church and that we were headed to Denver and he was amazed that we were doing that and it just seemed to really brighten his night and he just kept joking around with us and stuff. We headed back to the van but then someone decided it would be a really good idea to throw on the cupid shuffle, so there we were 14 girls dancing to the cupid shuffle in the middle of a gas station while the clerk watched and laughed from the window. Funniest thing of the day for sure, and definitely a good break from driving.

We finally arrived in Denver at 4 am and found out that we would be staying at Colorado Christian University, which meant we would be living in these apartment style dorms with a comfy bed, cozy shower, and our own kitchen. I was fully expecting that we would probably be sleeping at a church or a hotel, definitely nothing this nice. We had 3 dorms so each had 5 people in it and wouldn't you guess I was paired with the girl that sparked my interest in Barakel, way to work that out God! We then slept until 10 the next day which was awesome because I only slept maybe an hour in the van.

So now it's Sunday March 7th and the first thing we need to do is get groceries so we have food to eat. We found King Sooper's, a really super grocery store ;) and we split up into groups to get different things that we needed for the week. It was fun and cool to see how God provided for us by giving us cheap products and coupons and even salespeople that allowed us to use a discount card to get even more savings! Hooray for that.

It's right under your nose!

Today I went and got dinner with my roommates, like usual, but today happened to be pretty crowded. We all split up and got our food and I finished first so I went and got a table right near where I knew they would be coming. First Amy came out and she looked all around trying to find me, I was waving my hands and calling her name but she was focused on the outer perimeter and not on the close up where I was sitting. She gave up after awhile and went to find Katie and ask her where I was, meanwhile I'm following behind her calling her name and trying to tap her on the shoulder. Finally she turns around and sees me and I show her where we're sitting.

As I was eating I was sitting there thinking about how we often do this with God. Maybe we pray for someone to minister to, or a way to get out of a bad situation, or even just asking God where he is. We pray for these things but we end up looking at the big picture and don't focus on the things that God has put right in front of us. You've probably all heard about the guy who is caught in a flood and prays that God will send him a way out, a police officer, a helicopter, and firefighters all come to rescue him but he says that God will save him. When he dies he asks God why he didn't save him and God says he sent all those people to be his way out.

Alot of the time we are just like that guy, too focused on God sending us a huge miracle or something really big to do that we forget all of the little things that we could be doing. We ask for someone to minister to and maybe we think it's going to be a completely random person that we've never met so we spend all our time looking for that person, when in reality God has placed someone in our class or in our group of friends that he wants us to minister to.

Sometimes we are even so oblivious that we don't hear God calling us, basically this boils down to us talking to God but not listening to what he has to say back. Or maybe you listen to what God has to say but you don't follow it. Someone I talked to said "Do you want to know God's plan so you can consider it, or so you can follow it?" Seems like alot of us just consider God's plan and think ours is better, or that his is impossible. He's following us and calling our name and trying to grab us, but we're set on our path and are oblivious to all other things.

If we keep going on like this we get so far away from God that we no longer hear his voice or feel him trying to reach for us. So don't be oblivious, look around you for ways that you can serve God and better his kingdom!!

Catchafire

"Catchafire (Whoopsi-Daisy)"

Slackin' off like a bum, I'm feelin' ho hum
I'm feelin' luke warm like the water in my tub
Started out and we was hot, looked up and now we're not
We had that fire like we was boilin' in a pot

Whoopsi-daisy, whoopsi-daisy, whoopsi-daisy
Come, we gonna catch that

Fire, I'm feenin' for a flicker
Then we'll fan the flame up into something bigger
Started out and we was hot, looked up and now we're not
We gonna catch a fire, catch a fire for God

Whoopsi-daisy, whoopsi-daisy, whoopsi-daisy
Come, we gonna catch that
Whoopsi-daisy, call me crazy, whoopsi-daisy
Come, we gonna catch that

Fire, takin' it from warm to hot
Fire, gotta give it all we got
Fire, whoopsi-daisy, call me crazy, whoopsi-daisy
Come, we gonna catch that

Spark to a flame, I'm flippin' up my game
I caught the fire and I'll never be the same
So unexplainable I can't contain it, son
And my retaining it would only be a shame
So let me hear you say

Heat, like the Kingston concrete
There ain't no stoppin' the fire
We're straight breakin' ground
There ain't no cooling this thing down
We burnin' up and keep'n it krunk as we know how
Hear me now people

Catch a fire let it burn within
Catch a fire let it burn for him

I know it's been forever since I've posted anything and I deeply apologize. I've been learning a ton here at college and I've been taking the time to journal and collect my thoughts for me to read and think about but I need to send my thoughts out into the world too.

So here's a super fast update for everyone. I moved to Michigan 3 days after I graduated and spent summer at our new house in Harbor Springs, aka the middle of nowhere. But, it's really scenic and very beautiful and we had no internet or tv for a really long time so I turned to God a lot, best thing ever. Then I started college here at Central Michigan University, CMU fire up, and joined His House, a christian church here, and shortly after joined a LifeGroup, or small group or growth group, however you like to call it.

Well that was definitely the best thing that God has led me to do, it's awesome. It's all girls, about 12 or so, and we just all get along and challenge each other, and laugh, and learn about God and it's sweet. We meet every wednesday from 7-9, and often go later, so I just got back from tonight's meeting and it was really cool. Since it's the start of a new semester we had a couple of new girls join our group due to schedule changes or just because they found out about it. We were talking about Esther and then one of the new girls starting sharing her testimony. She became a christian over summer and has just been diving into Jesus and his word and listening to sermon's and reading books about him. We then got to talking about how she's so on fire and how we've become lackadaisical and no longer have that fire in us.

It set me on fire again, and we talked about how we shouldn't be afraid of what people will think and that God has it all in his hands and he will work it out, he is God after all. So I decided I should stop worrying about what other people are gonna think and that I should throw my ideas out there and maybe it will change or help someone, and if not that's cool too.

The whole time we were talking about being on fire for god and giving him everything, I was thinking of this song by Toby Mac, Catchafire, and it's just so true of my life. I'm not on fire I'm lukewarm and God detests it when we are lukewarm he says he will spit us out of his mouth, Revelation 3:16, so why do I still go around acting lukewarm and not being totally on fire for him. He created us, he loves us, he desires us, he died on the cross for us, for us. So why shouldn't that completely set us on fire and cause us to proclaim his glories and tell the world about all that he does? Why? Because we're scared of being embarassed, scared of losing friends, scared of saying the wrong thing? God is so much bigger than that, life is so much bigger than that, as This Beautiful Republic says, life is more than these fears and failures. Why do we worry, why are we afraid, why don't we just give it all to him, give him control. I'm sure that he can do a lot more with my life than I can. So I challenge you to think about that as you go throughout your day, week, and life. Don't just be lukewarm, catchafire and let it burn for him!!!!!

So here's to the revival of my blog. Good Luck

You could be a Hero

My church always has different themes for the different series' that our pastor does. The series he is doing now is called Marvel and is about the miracles of Jesus. As the name suggests there are also a lot of superheroes, I even got to create a couple for the bulletins.

When I imagine superheroes I don't imagine some average joe, I imagine some unbeatable, untouchable, super powerful, tight-clothes wearing person. They are not approachable and besides Captain Planet they seem to only focus on crime and bad guys.

Now I could never imagine myself being one of these superheroes, but does that mean I can't be a hero at all? Haven't you always wanted someone to put you down as their hero is third grade, or write a college essay about you? Well you don't have to don a cape and tights in order to this. If you look around the world today, even your school, there is plenty that you can do to be a hero.

Hero- by Superchic[k]

No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in,
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him,
'Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like you hate him or want him to die,
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,
Any kindness from you might have saved his life...

Heroes are made when you make a choice...

CHORUS:
You could be a hero,
Heroes do what’s right,
You could be a hero,
You might save a life,
You could be a hero, you could join the fight,
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right...

No one talks to her, she feels so alone,
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own,
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife,
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life,
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves,
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made...

Heroes are made when you make a choice...

CHORUS

No one talks to him about how he lives,
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his,
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves,
And others will follow the choices he’s made,
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide,
His brother who wants to be him is just nine,
He can do what he wants because it’s his right,
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life...

Heroes are made when you make a chocie...

CHORUS

Little Mikey-Dee was the one in class
Who everyday got brutally harassed
This went on for years
Till he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door
And grabbed the .44 out of his father's dresser drawer
He said 'I can't take life no more'
And like that a life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinking its not our responsibility
To solve a problem that isn't even about me
This is our problem.
This is just one of the daily scenarios
In which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice
For those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged?
Now it's our time to pick a side.
So don't keep walking by not wanting to intervene,
Cause you just want to exist and never be seen.
So lets wake up, change the world
Our time is now.

You could be a hero - (Our time is now) heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero - (Our time is now) you might save a life
You could be a hero - (Our time is now) you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s ri-ight...


When I think of myself being a hero I see a rolemodel, someone who listens, and always does their best. High School has beena big change, there is always that one person who is a little it of a loner and always seems down. It's very interesting to talk to these kind of people, they just need a friend and someone that they can talk to.

When I think of being a hero I remember the time that we went and served Thanksgiving dinner to roughly 200 disabled people. They were so thankful, and you could really tell that we had brightened their day. We were their hero.

Who will you be a hero to?

Easter

This song is for Easter and God be amazing and all that he does. I really like KJ-52 because God is always the center of his music, theres no denying his musical skills and Godly devotion.

Never Look Away-

I once was lost but then
You found me and loved me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away
You paid the cost You showed me how You bought me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away (away)

Who am I? Just a thief nobody cares about
The kind that would run up in your house steal your jewels and couch
Been on the run for so long
But they caught me now
They hung me on this cross I'm on and I see the crowd
But next to me is someone who I've heard about
They say He heals the blind and lame but I got my doubts
So what's His name I can't remember
Someone screamed it out said it was Jesus
But this man he didn't make a sound
He hung there breathing with the blood running down His mouth
He'd been beaten a crown of thorns now was on his brow
See what I've done is just the reason why I'm hanging now
But this man is innocent and I can see it nowI
said, "Jesus are you listening do you hear me now
Remember me just on the day You bring Your kingdom down
I want to change my ways I really want Your freedom now,"
He took my sin away and this is why I say it loud

I once was lost but then You found me and loved me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away
You paid the cost You showed me how You bought me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away (away)

He turned His head and said
Today you're gonna be with Me
Cause very soon I'll be dead but I'm a set you free
Cause every drop that I've bled is so what you would see
That it was shed for you to be with Me eternally
The other thief he just laughed at what He said to me
Said you ain't comin back you're nothing what you claim to be
If you was king then why'd they hang you next to me
See what I think is you're a liar and it's plain to see
But Jesus was silent and soon time began to pass
He cried "It is finished" and went and breathed his last
He died the sky was rumbling and started turning black
But I knew He'd come again because I knew the facts
My time to die is coming soon and it's coming fast
It's hard to breathe
I'm trying to began to gasp
I can't deny what is true cause it's all I have
Now I knew that paradise is where I'm heading at

I once was lost but then You found me and loved me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away
You paid the cost You showed me how You bought me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away (away)

[Bridged]
I had a debt I could not pay
Your love broke through took it away
I once was lost now I'm found to You I make this joyful sound
Please remember me Lord when You come again

Time is passing by my life is coming to the end
I'm about to die it's time so please let me in
Please remember me Lord when You come again
I once was lost but then You found me and loved me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away
You paid the cost You showed me how You bought me
And I'm never gonna look away
No I'm never gonna look away


Hope this song reminds you of god's love and all he has done for us

Is that an Oxymoron?

I was looking for some new music and came across this article and really liked it and thought I should share since it's basically what my blog is all about.

According to some critics and cynics, the words Christian and hardcore become an oxymoron when linked together. At their association, images of loud music, yelling, moshing, and, most of all, apparent anger become tangible reflections. But is this appropriate?

"They sound so angry," a friend said to me once while I was playing Grammatrain, a now defunct Christian rock band who are, by coincidence, not so heavy. "If they're filled with the love of God, why are they so angry?"

Grammatrain is, by far, not the most brutal of the genre. Whenever I play Zao or Living Sacrifice albums in the presence of friends and comment on the music's Christianity, their brows furrow as deep as the dunes along this Carolina coast.

"I just have one question," I was asked recently while playing "Desire the End" from Zao's 1999 release, Liberate Te Ex Inferis. "What is he saying?"

It is true that we, as Christians, often disregard exactly what we're doing as long as we're told it's Christian. Music is as fine an example as any.

As in much hardcore, whether Christian or secular, some of the Christian bands making the rounds are mostly indiscernible as far as their lyrics are concerned, Zao, Living Sacrifice, early Embodyment, and Overcome not the least of those. If it is impossible for me to hear the message, does that make it no longer Christian or even positive?

I've been asked over and over why I listen to Christian hardcore. No matter my response, their conclusion is they don't agree with it, no matter where their faith lies. Christian hardcore is a ministry meant more for recruitment than strengthening. While someone already deeply rooted in the Christian faith may not gain much from the messages in the lyrics of Zao or Living Sacrifice, one who does not yet know God may learn more than they ever thought they could know.

A Christian hardcore concert is, while being much the same, an opposite from your typical secular show. While moshing and shouting may still persist, and while violent rhythms and burning guitars may still burrow through the crowds' hearing like flesh-eating earwigs, there is also an air of holiness about the place. There is ministry performed by the band members between songs, and there is an effort to "lift up your brother, don't put him down," as P.O.D. says to their fans when the mosh pit breaks open as violently as a Northeastern storm cloud in front of their stage. A hardcore Christian concert is all about enjoying music and praising God, as well as trying to bring those who are in the hardcore scene and thus most detached from God closer to His will.

I read a review on CDNow.com recently of Zao's Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest LP. They described Zao's message as "holy/evil." If critics are confusing the Christian hardcore scene to such an extent, it is time that we Christians stand up and proclaim the benefits of these holy messages, no matter how muddled they may be within all the distorted noise.

There will remain those who disagree with this approach to bringing in lost children/young adults who frequent the hardcore and punk clubs. There will remain friends in my life who will scold some of my more disturbing Christian CDs. There may even be those who will lose respect for me because of the brand of music I listen to. As far as I'm concerned, God is the One who introduced me to this music and it is a strong stream of ministry. Do not compromise your faith for the warnings of those less holy than yourself. Take it up with God. And rock on.